I start this blog with this particular photo...  it is just as I passed the finish line.  If you're familiar with racing you'll notice at every race... as a racer hits the finish line and does that last pass as their heart rate settles from their final sprint, their heads drops, every time.  Perhaps as a sigh of relief, a sigh of disappointment, or that of a sigh of accomplishment... Anyway, it is actually quite amazing of a moment at any level.... It's been about 3 days since the "big" race. I think I've found excuse after excuse why to not write.  This was of course my "big" race... 3 years running to date...  After a years time this one... I've tripled my mileage in one year... this was the year that I would be proud of what I did.  Every one else seems to be? But one race???? I've done these mountains time after time..... I don't know, perhaps it was the competition.  The  normal recreational biker or even beginner cyclist shy away from this race due to the length and the climbs.....There were 2 female bikers from my area, myself 43.. and Maggy 18??? She finally got to race without her junior gears? Yeash!!!!  I had support at multiple places throughout the duration of the race... it was great.. at every major corner the calls out, even as I climb the last mountain... The day of the race finished with a celebration of friends and family.  I actually snuck out for a 45 minute nap... actually felt much better after that... Although couldn't last to the end... and skipped the fireworks....Bottom line... is that I'm thrilled that I have such passion for this.. It is indeed a refuge for me,  as my art is, my photogrpahy... my writing, and my singing is... yet...with this.. it is measurable...   Measurable right?????  who is first, who is last????  But then I think to myself..... hummm... I stand in a group magnificent women... all of which I only personally know 1.... and I, I choose not to be a spectator... I choose to be a participant, regardless of whether I'm one of the "elite".  I reached for it and I made it... the second day after the races... I started planning... HOW!!! HOW!!!! will I get stronger... darn it.... I hope to still have Ralph there by side... as he always is...  that brings me back to moment that I will share...   As we climbed the mountain a few days before the race....  He says maybe we should try some weight training... As the sweat pores from my body... I say... god!!! ( I yell often with Ralph... but he smiles.... and let's it rolls over) Ralph, I say!!!!  have you seen my legs !!! they're strong... really strong... and he replies..... then make them push you up the climb!!!! Damn!!!!!  Yes.....  He's so right....   they're strong... they're really strong.. and therefore I Will Get Over The Hill.

And with that...   I reach, I reach for yet another goal....   and then I smile :)

I did make my personal goal  under 3 hours !!!! 2:49:35 ..... Oh yeay!!!!  

Tomorrows the big race... although small in comparison to many, ...but to me it was the first challenge in this journey and for that is means so much to me..  As I lay in bed trying to sleep I read a message ... Ralph of course, one that always believes in me...for some reason...

" Don't give into the demons . Fight to do the best you can . No shoulda coulda woulda after the race"

NO SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA!!!!

Thank you Ralph!!! I'll see you at the finish line my very dear friend! You sooooo rock!

Wine vs Team Ride....

Okay.... so a bad title... I'm only human... long day today... tried to sleep in a bit now that the kids are out of school... did not happen.  It had an adverse effect... Sat or should I say lay in bed thinking of way too much... Anyway back to the biking blog!.... maybe, feeling an urge to expand general stats and verbiage perhaps into something a bit more fun to read???....  Had a crazy busy day... worked, sample sale, 3 cavities filled ( side note - not my pearls... although sad as they haven't figured out the significance of brushing???)  Fedex drop to China and one to LA, USPS for a special delivery, dry cleaner, subway for the kids as it is 3:00 and apparently I forgot to feed them? I doubt I'll be getting the mother of the year award... DD for an iced coffee, considering I haven't eaten all day... Oh that did not go over well... 15 minutes into the indulgence... stomach pain!!! drill, drill, mommy falls asleep in the waiting room... no I did not snore, although I am known for snoring! Well not in public places ( that I know of :/) grocery store... the twins get a cart and I say... "get what you need I forgot the "list""..... Damn lists??? Not too bad... $66.79...  oh damn, never even looked in that pocket of my wallet that has those things called coupons!!!!  too late maybe next time... I'm sure they'll be expired by then as they always are!!!  But after all these years I still store them there... and feel this sense of pride when I actually use them, which mind you is not very often!!!! ... I never seem to figure those out... anyway maybe next time...  Hand the car keys off to the twins, so they can load the car and I can visit "josh" my keeper of the vice!!! haha.... Winology... any wine, any country.. Josh has it...Chat, chat, chat... saw you did a ride this weekend?  Yup... double metric... what is that???  2X60 miles.. plus a little more... chat, chat... He's so nice!!! great guy... perhaps that why I like the wine store so much... oh come on....hehehe... driving home...  look at the clock... realize hummmmm thursday... 5:30... team ride...okay.. I'm in and I need it... Get home... unpack.. Wine- ride... wine -ride... grab the phone.. if I do this quick..... I will be committed.... quick do it before the right side of the brain starts to work( or is that the left... of hell, who cares!!) .. Hi Rob... team ride tonight? A riders or B?.... "Well.... strong A's...and a newby, but Ralphs here let me let you talk to him"  Oh boy... he knows how to throw the hook in... "yes...  you going west dover..... You start and we will chase you up the hill."  You got it... 10 minutes to unpack groceries, suit up, helmet up and off 6:20 I go...

20 minutes later... Ken passes me.. Hi there Nicky!  DAMN!!!! I didn't make it to the top of the climb!!! Ralph... Gracen... and Andrew I believe it was... He was way too fast for me to even figure out who it was??? haha... Fast up a hill??? have you ever heard of anything so crazy!!! Well finally hit the top... Gracen and I... oh and btw... Gracen ( not sure if the spelling is correct??)  Adorable!!!  I met him about 2 weeks ago... was his first ride.. not part of the team yet but proudly wears the jersey and I'm sure in time... he will be part of the team.. He is a dirt bike racer... Oh and you can tell!!!!  He is very strong but wow....all over the place... but this last ride he looked a lot better.  First time I met him... don't know how we got on the subject but I asked how old are you... He says 22, Ralph yells over.. he's 18!!! hahah!!!  That gave us a few laughs!! We actually got to know each other a bit the first ride a couple of weeks ago... He's soooo young... He asked about what I do,  I told him I've been in fashion for 25 years, blah, blah, blah... He says do you like it?  I giggled and said well sure... But I've learned how to like life more... He replies as we start to descend...  Yes, I know... I've heard of you... and we take off.... I of course... speed past him... With a newbies push them and they will push too.. although he kicked my butt on the climbs... haha...

Anyway... great ride tonight... 23 miles total 1:36 time.. 3 miles climb up pleasant ridge... then climb up rt 55 X2...   Side note to Rob, if we do the alternative route the length is longer.. although rt 55 is so much better than old rt 55. Sun was setting and it was beautiful, and i'll do it again... 10 days and counting to the event that started it all for me!!!! hehe...

Double Metric Madness - Pinnacle

I'm proud to share that yesterday I reached a pinnacle of my journey on 2 wheels :)
201.5 km/ 125.23 miles in one sitting.

This particular journey began Saturday morning 8:13am as Ralph and I set out on the "Double Metric Madness" ride.  I was pleased to start that morning with temperatures hovering at about 65 degrees.  Days prior to the ride, we had been experiencing a heat wave, so I was very thankful for the drop in temperature.  Fuel for the adventure; one energy bar, one pack of hammer blocks, one bottle Spiz, 2 bottles of frozen Gatorade ( against my best judgement of liquids choices although it is the best to maintain electrolytes on such a challenging ride) Off we go.  We traveled north up the New York, Connecticut border thru the  Taconic State Park and up into Massachusetts where I once again attempted to make the climb up and into Mt. Washington State Forest.  This time I'm pleased to say that I conquered it without demounting my 2 wheeled adventure machine. Although a struggle I did make it.  By the time I reached the top my head was pounding from my body heat. The climb was only a mile long and honestly although hard if challenged again with it I would not be as fearful of it. That was just about the mid point of the ride and all was well.  We moved forward and enjoyed the descent through the forest, hitting some dirt roads and so much natural beauty.  Although I wanted to stop frequently I didn't as I knew the length of this ride did not account for extra stops along the way.  We only officially stopped twice to refill our bottles ( although there was an extra stop at the end - about 7 miles to the end - but I'll talk about that later).

At about 90 miles I unfortunately started getting a stomach cramp.  I had not had them on a ride in a very long time.  I later realized it was probably the gatorade that was making me feel badly.  I normally will do one gatorade to one water, but because of the length here I thought I would be best to do 100% gatorade.. Wrong move... The cramp stayed with me for the balance of the ride and if your a rider you understand climbs alone are challenging enough without having the pain of the cramp.

Anyway,  around the 106 mile mark is about where I hit the wall. But I still had 20 miles to go and a number of hills. My knees started to ache, you could see my veins clearly as they push the blood thru my legs.. hahaha.....   I realized at that point also that I had been raising my shoulders the whole ride as they started to burn!!!   And although Ralph had warned me a number of times.... move hands around... don't keep them in one place... Well, I thought I was doing that, but apparently not as the palms of my hands started to have a sense of rawness to them... about 13 miles to end.. As I continue to repeat " I really don't want to do this anymore Ralph..."  He smiles and says,  "Let's stop and I'll buy you a ice cream cone"..  I replied.... "I want to get to the finish line"... thinking back I probably should have stopped.  Instant sugar fuel.. Ralph is very knowledgeable about everything having to do with long distance riding.  He knew a cone would give me the little jolt I needed and we were close enough to the end that when I crashed we would hopefully be back.   I would have, but at that point I started to feel nauseous, in a very bad way.  I needed to get water in me and fast... so about 4 miles down we found a deli and stopped, as I pored the gatorade out I caught a whiff of it and nearly lost my cookies... ugh!!! Okay, got some water in me and back on the bike I went.  Only that of the weight of my legs were turning the pedals.  Not really, but it felt like that!!!  As we approached each hill, I would repeat "I'm not going to make it up Ralph!!!",  "we'll see"he says  and you know what I actually did make it up every time, not without pain or exhaustion, but I made it.  One thing though with these hills, as I normally would say I set a point in front of me on a hill, not far but just enough to get me there without being overwhelming.  this time though, I only looked directly in front of me, almost at the top of my wheel.   Perhaps from the lack of being able to lift my head or the fear of not being able to even make that point.  Just looking right in front of me worked.  Sometimes life gets completely unbearable, just take it minute by minute that's all you need to do... minute by minute..  Doesn't have to be day by day... but instead minute by minute.. and you'll make it through.

7:00 pm, almost exactly 11 hours later ( including stops) .... I make it back in one piece, hard to walk, completely physically exhausted, crawled into a warm bath applied ben gay... hehe... an aspirin, some pasta, a small glass of red wine and off I went to slumber for 10 hours.  Next morning surveyed the damage:
2 blisters on my hand, one on the palm, one between my thumb and pointer finger.
Still a bit sore on my neck
Muscles in my legs still recovering slowly
A bit light headed

But overall a HUGE SUCCESS..
Although Ralph said I need to find my next goal... hummmmm not quite sure I'm ready to set that one, but probably in time!!!

It's been some time since I've written. Although I will say I've still remained committed to my journey.  As I prepare for my upcoming races, closest one planned the PMRR.  This year it is considered an official NYS road race, YEAY ROB!!!! Although with saying that the challenge becomes a bit more intense and the competition is the same.  The length of the race now becomes 40 miles verse the 20 miles.  It is a double mountain loop.  I rode the loop the other day and had a few malfunctions, slipped 3 times off my ring going up the climb.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to lose the momentum of the climb fix a chain and then get back on and push at a 16+% grade... Alright well maybe it is not impossible but... hehe... The route is hard but "easy" to me. I don't want to cry half way thru the climb and give up, like I did the first time I ever rode the climb... hahaha..  The first climb the longest and at time the hardest seem only difficult in one particular 1/2 mile stretch.  I logged at points in the climb about 9 mph... which is amazingly excellent for me on a climb.   Considering I despise climbs!!!  They keep getting easier every single time...  I only wish hurdles in  life got easier after repetition... They just don't seem to... Anyway...  The climb on 55 was a piece of cake!!!  Really amazing... Although I had a near tragic moment that drop me to a stop, first time ever.  I was at about the top of the hill, starting to slow down a bit, I would say I was going about 7 mph. At that point in the climb my lane moves to a double and the shoulder is still very generous! I hang on the shoulder where ever possible. Well an 18 wheeler comes flashing by and I thought it was over for me.  I could feel the heat coming from him tires on my arms... I could hear him behind me, so I was prepared, but what I was not prepared for was that he entered into my comfort lane over my white line. I caught myself starting to jiggle a bit on the handlebars. OH shit! Too close for comfort.  As I look to the right to see if the best way is to bail to the right. But I held in there and although he passed in little than a few seconds it seemed to me to pass in slow motion.  Although I should be afraid making a statement out loud " YOU DON'T SCARE ME BIG WHEELER MAN"  Stay on your side next time..... Okay... so just between you and I...those types of drivers do scare me... but none the less... they won't scare me off the road.. I just have to be smarted than them.

( oh was that a paragraph I just made???? hehehe)  That would be a side joke as I have a tendency in all walks of my life to go on and on...... no purposeful pauses!!!  So onto the last climb... this one I have to say is killer, it is shorter than the first climb but the grade is killer, I believe it hits 21%... oh and YES I have a grannie gear! Once I get the go pro back.. I will be taking you for a ride for sure... and no helmet cam... I finally got the bike attachment... hehe :D.

Okay well onto today's ride which is where I wanted to note on the blog in the first place.. haha..  Headed out for a short 20 mile ride... Wasn't going to do the mountain, just wanted to ride with momentum and strength.  Perhaps in a way to get my week going although it is already Tuesday. The weather was overcast, yet the feel of the air is not moist so I thought it would be fine.  Who's afraid of a little rain... hell not me... I hit the point at which I would finish the loop of 20 but today I chose to go right... I rode             and I rode.... today was a ride filled with emotion. Ups and downs, in a way it took me over... I started my ride though with harsh understanding of where my life is right now...   I chose to stay on the road because I needed to think.  I talked out loud, I shouted at time and for a few moments I cried, and I cried hard...

 I'll leave you with that... but please don't get discouraged.  That's the special thing about riding and crying....  In the end your tend to figure it out, or at the very least feel better about it.    As someone dear to my heart said once... You just need to ride it out...  And there you have it... I'm riding it out!

  Where is my journey going from here.. I do not know... I suppose it is up to my destiny... Although I have ultimate control over my life... destiny guides me ...

Side note:  any followers that would like to continue to join me on my journey... I'll be moving to tumblr, details to follow  -

Catching up Literally - Arrival 3/17

I'm well into the Century week here at the PAC tours in Arizona and I have a lot to catch up on, so here I go.

  My trip To Tuscan although uneventful was very long.  I had to fly into LA and then back to Tuscan totally almost 10 hours travel time.  Arrived there relatively on time and jumped right into the courtesy van.  The hotel was within a mile of the airport so it was short ride :) Thank goodness.  Arrived checked in and then out to the PAC tour Vans to check in there.   A little nervous as the groups of people seemed to of course be socializing as they have known each other for years.  I walked up to the silver Van where I met Barb, she quickly asked my name and with a smile said oh Nicole you're the scholarship winner.  She proceeded to tell me how she knew Anne Maire and would to sit with me a tell me all about her.  Of course, I would love to.  We're having coffee tomorrow morning before the ride.  Shortly after that I meet Susan Notorangelo and Lon Haldeman!!!!!!  Hello!!  Each one of them being a legend in this sport!!! Incredible legends and pioneers I should say.   What a privilege being here on this trip is... not only to represent Anne Marie McSweeney but also to be have the opportunity to talk and be with Susan and Lon both. That was only the beginning!!!!  Of course... the ahhh stopped immediately when Susan in her strong voice ushers me along and goes... okay you have your peddles and your seat? Come let's get started... haha... oh shit!!! peddles, seat.... Rob... where is Rob when you need him... hahah!!!! Only kidding... this is what I came here for... It's about time I fended for myself!  Susan proceed to explain and guide me though it all.   As I work through getting my seat on peddles etc. Although when I got changes the tire... I Patty told me that it might be on backwards!!!  haha... and it was..  So took it off and did it again.  Little did I know it was good practice for my trip ahead. Anyway continuing..  Susan moves on and I meet this amazing women, her name is Patty Joe.  Also known as Snow kitty... what an amazing character she is.  And also another amazing athlete.... Winner of the most extreme cycle race, RAAM attendee, Alaskan Iditarod!!!  That's where she got frost bite on her fingers and toes.  That story came out as we sat in the rescue van on the first day.... Although she was smarter than me and she sat in the back seat dry as I was drenched from head to toe.  That will be another story.  Well got the bike ready, and took a short ride around the hotel in preparation for the trip tomorrow.  Only 3 miles around and the roads were crazy rough, hurt my hands, the winds also was strong and felt like 6 miles.  Headed back to the hotel and met up with Lon and he asked if I would be joining them for dinner. Hecht yeay!   Well, Met Anna, who is part of the crew!  I really like her a lot and we hope to ride a bit together later this week. She is a ultra marathon cycle trainer and......  also has raised and trained horses most of her life... Although I don't believe she does anymore.  Lovely person.. Then I met George, again an ultra marathon cycler and trainer.  He was here with his son John, who was here with 2 men training this week for the RAAM.  He was training for crew with them.  I don't think I'll be riding with them. haha!  Then I met Dean from Australia, which I will talk about later, he ended up being a riding partner on Tuesday ride.   As we walked back to the hotel I was able to talk with George.  WOW!!  The information and suggestions he had were incredible.  Later I find out that his son John was on an Olympic training program... No wonder he knew so much.  Well I head back to the hotel where they had a riders meeting.  Then back to my room where I finally met my room mate for the week It ended up being Vaune who was the other scholarship winner. I didn't know that she was coming this week.  she has one incredible story!!  But I have to end this blog for now.  #1 it is a bit long and #2 I'm not sure how it happened but I became quite sick here and need to get to sleep.  I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow morning so I can ride again.. what am I saying... I'm riding either way... tomorrow is Bisbee and Tombstone, again...

Sadly

Sadly, This blog is not about adventure or any of the wonderful things I'm experiencing this week.  This blog is about a friend, and fellow team member of Pawling Cycle and Sport, Markus Bohler.  I found out as I returned from my ride today that the injuries he suffered during a bike race crash at the crit yesterday afternoon took his life.  Markus passed away this morning from multiple head fractures.  I just saw him before I left for my journey to Arizona.  We talked about riding, his training and my upcoming trip for about an hour at the shop.  He was an amazingly energetic and positive person.  This was the season he was going to win the race.  He always greeted me with a great big smile.  We will miss you Markus.  RIP

photo: Markus - Bottom right ( Navy argyle PCS jersey )